Self image

Have you ever wondered how different your life would be if you were flawless?

I have.

Unfortunately most of us will never know what it’s like, but I assume that those who have been blessed with ‘having it all’ are totally oblivious of how lucky they are. Most of us can only dream of having the perfect body, the perfect face, being the perfect height, having great hair, skin, and so on. It’s a shame that those who come close to perfection often take it for granted.

We set the standard for perfection. The advertisements on TV show images of beautiful people. The majority of us fall short, to a degree, of that standard. A shame really, because each and every one of us has something beautiful to offer to the world. Whether it’s a feature or a characteristic or a even a form of charisma, it’s there, but we refuse to see it because we are so critical of ourselves. We forever judge or compare ourselves to others which is wrong, and we know that it’s wrong, but we can’t help it. It’s the way we are.

Would we really be more successful if we were better looking? Had a great body? Were taller, shorter, whatever?

Who says that ‘pretty Mary’ will have a better career than ‘ordinary Kate?’ (Not real names by the way.) Our upbringing does, that’s who.

Self image is formed when we are young. Because of this, every child needs to be enlightened with positive words about themselves, no matter what! Every child needs to hear that they are capable and clever as well as beautiful. They need to be constantly reminded that they can do whatever they want to do and they can be who they want to be when they grow up. It’s a must!

Words are powerful and a child will remember them. They are also free. So be generous with your positive words and tight with your negative ones because chances are they’ll be remembered more than the Playstation 3 that you bought for them last Christmas. Positive words are the only tools needed to build up confidence. If you don’t supply those tools and continuously keep them well stocked, then consider yourself the reason for creating a weak structure that will inevitably collapse at the first sign of a storm.

Look at the bullying situation in schools. A bully is a bully because they have poor self image and a child that is continuously bullied allows it to happen because they feel as though they deserve it. Is there such a thing as a child with a ‘great sense of self’ that is constantly bullied? I don’t think so. I haven’t seen one yet. And it’s THAT confidence that they have in themselves that actually repels the intimidators. Bullies only attack the weak because they know that they can get away with it. They’ll never attack the popular kid because the popular ones radiate poise and poise is the enemy of insecurity.

Teach your children how to wear the armour of self-confidence and self-worth and they will not be dragged down by the tyrants of this world. You can’t always be there by their side to shield and protect them, but you can teach them how to defend themselves. It is our responsibility as parents to keep our children safe and happy and if given the right tools while they are young, they can then go forth into the world of adulthood and succeed with confidence, no matter what they look like on the outside.

Never ever tell a child that they are not good enough to achieve a certain goal!  

As for the rest of us who already reside in THAT land, all I can say is...let’s change the way we see ourselves and that in turn will change the way others see us. Not all of the rich, famous and powerful people are beautiful on the outside, it’s what you can’t see with the naked eye that makes them different. If we could get inside their heads I’m sure that we would see that it’s filled with nothing but faith and self-assurance which is what powered them towards their goals in the first place. We can have those qualities too, we just need to believe.

Until next time...

M.C.